Thanks for being here. Thanks for caring. It's the people who care that change the world, just so you know. Have a stellar day.
- Liv
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
All done!
Thanks for being here. Thanks for caring. It's the people who care that change the world, just so you know. Have a stellar day.
- Liv
Leibniz's Monads
(This was the very first draft I wrote on this blog back in 2014. I never finished it or published it. Here are the raw notes and thoughts on some crazy stuff from over two years ago.)
This post may hurt your brain a little. It caused a few minor explosions of awesomeness in mine.
Study D&C 88:11-13 in connection to Leibniz, the philosopher mathematician, founder of calculus, famous logical thinker. At the time, he did not know how else to describe the matter that makes up everything. He came up with a pretty great explanation regardless of not having full revelatory ability, and the gospel expounds upon it.
His monadology is the Light of Christ, which light "proceedeth forth to fill the immensity of space." He somehow grasped this concept of intelligences, this light of Christ, through his "monad" theories.
God gives life and dictates the law by which things are governed. Christ, as Creator and accomplisher of God's work, used God's power to create everything. "God's light is real. It is available to all. (President Dieter F. Uchtdorf)" Thus, due to the nature of creation and the properties of the light of Christ and its matter, at any time in the universe, God's influence is ALWAYS there.
Leibniz theorized his particles, which is light, which is the power that God uses to do anything present everywhere.
Light gives and enables the creation of life, but it also illuminates it and allows us for the understanding of it. This is in the same way that the sun is not only essential for a tree to grow, but it also illuminates it so that the tree exists in our view. It enables and enlightens our understanding. The Light of Christ is in all things.
7 Which truth shineth. This is the light of Christ. As also he is in the sun, and the light of the sun, and the power thereof by which it was made.
8 As also he is in the moon, and is the light of the moon, and the power thereof by which it was made;
9 As also the light of the stars, and the power thereof by which they were made;
10 And the earth also, and the power thereof, even the earth upon which you stand.
11 And the light which shineth, which giveth you light, is through him who enlighteneth your eyes, which is the same light that quickeneth your understandings;
12 Which light proceedeth forth from the presence of God to fill the immensity of space—
13 The light which is in all things, which giveth life to all things, which is the law by which all things are governed, even the power of God who sitteth upon his throne, who is in the bosom of eternity, who is in the midst of all things.
Go read about Leibniz. But above that and anything else you could read, go read the scriptures. They are true. The gospel is true.
Go read about Leibniz. But above that and anything else you could read, go read the scriptures. They are true. The gospel is true.
Steve Jobs on Success
(Written on September 22nd, 2015.)
When you grow up, you tend to get told that the world is the way it is and you need to try and live inside the world, try not to bash in the walls, have fun, save money
That is a limited life
Life can be broader
Everything around you that you call life was made up by people no smarter than you
You can make it better for you and others
Poke life
You can mold and change it
This is the most important thing you can know
Erroneous notion that life is just here and you are going to live in it
Rather than embracing it, improving it, loving it
Increase your perspective and see how you can change things
People say you need passion, because without it any rational person would give up
If you don't really love it, you're going to give up
The ones who were successful loved what they did so they could persevere when things got tough
Those who weren't failed because they were too reasonable
Design for yourself
Tremendous drain to build for everyone
Take risks and make connections
Did you know what was going to happen?
Nike man asked
Do you have any advice?
Well I do have some advice
Nike makes some of the best products in the world
But you also make a lot of crap
Get rid of crappy stuff and only sell the good stuff
Once people have a vision, you don't need to tell people what to do
Leadership is articulating a vision and getting a sense of that common vision
Insanely great at what they did
We don't have seasoned professionals
Tips of their fingers and in their passion they had an understanding of technology
Get a core group of incredible individuals to police themselves and decide what their standards are
Pursue excellence with them
Have everyone want to work because they really believe in it and they know what they want it to be
Professional management? Did not work for Apple
Did not know how to do anything, couldn't learn or teach anything
Best managers and individual contributors, don't WANT to manage, but have to
Betting on effectiveness skills will override experience needed
Don't do it for the money
23, worth over a million
10 mil 24
100 mil 25
Wasn't that important because he never was motivated by money
Money is wonderful because of enabling and investing power,
But the most important thing is the company, the people, the products we made that then enabled PEOPLE
Best personal computers in the world and make products we are proud to sell
at lowest price
However, there are some things we would not be proud to ship
And we cannot ship junk
There are thresholds we cannot cross because of who we are
People check themselves
We don't offer stripped down, lousy products
If you most those aside and compare us with the competitors, we compare competitively
Build around customers
You can please some of the people some of the time
But one of the hardest things when you are trying to affect change is that people like this gentleman are right
How does that fit in to a cohesive larger vision that will allow you to profit exceedingly?
You must start with the customer experience and work backward to the product and technology
Come up with a strategy and vision for apple, started with what incredible benefits can we give to the customer?
NOT let's sit down with the engineers and see our technology and figure out marketing
Marketing takes values
Dairy industry tried to tell you that milk was good for you
Sales went up
Got Milk, sales went up
Nike incredible marketing. They sell shoes
But when you think of Nike, you feel something different
Empowering, inspiring, honoring great athletics
They don't talk about their product
Apple spends on advertising the same
Stay hungry and stay foolish
Take risks
Keep working and driving your ideas forward
Keep thinking and seeking inspiration
Do not give up
Steve Jobs on Success
(A compilation of lecture and interview notes.)When you grow up, you tend to get told that the world is the way it is and you need to try and live inside the world, try not to bash in the walls, have fun, save money
That is a limited life
Life can be broader
Everything around you that you call life was made up by people no smarter than you
You can make it better for you and others
Poke life
You can mold and change it
This is the most important thing you can know
Erroneous notion that life is just here and you are going to live in it
Rather than embracing it, improving it, loving it
Increase your perspective and see how you can change things
People say you need passion, because without it any rational person would give up
If you don't really love it, you're going to give up
The ones who were successful loved what they did so they could persevere when things got tough
Those who weren't failed because they were too reasonable
Design for yourself
Tremendous drain to build for everyone
Take risks and make connections
Did you know what was going to happen?
Nike man asked
Do you have any advice?
Well I do have some advice
Nike makes some of the best products in the world
But you also make a lot of crap
Get rid of crappy stuff and only sell the good stuff
Once people have a vision, you don't need to tell people what to do
Leadership is articulating a vision and getting a sense of that common vision
Insanely great at what they did
We don't have seasoned professionals
Tips of their fingers and in their passion they had an understanding of technology
Get a core group of incredible individuals to police themselves and decide what their standards are
Pursue excellence with them
Have everyone want to work because they really believe in it and they know what they want it to be
Professional management? Did not work for Apple
Did not know how to do anything, couldn't learn or teach anything
Best managers and individual contributors, don't WANT to manage, but have to
Betting on effectiveness skills will override experience needed
Don't do it for the money
23, worth over a million
10 mil 24
100 mil 25
Wasn't that important because he never was motivated by money
Money is wonderful because of enabling and investing power,
But the most important thing is the company, the people, the products we made that then enabled PEOPLE
Best personal computers in the world and make products we are proud to sell
at lowest price
However, there are some things we would not be proud to ship
And we cannot ship junk
There are thresholds we cannot cross because of who we are
People check themselves
We don't offer stripped down, lousy products
If you most those aside and compare us with the competitors, we compare competitively
Build around customers
You can please some of the people some of the time
But one of the hardest things when you are trying to affect change is that people like this gentleman are right
How does that fit in to a cohesive larger vision that will allow you to profit exceedingly?
You must start with the customer experience and work backward to the product and technology
Come up with a strategy and vision for apple, started with what incredible benefits can we give to the customer?
NOT let's sit down with the engineers and see our technology and figure out marketing
Marketing takes values
Dairy industry tried to tell you that milk was good for you
Sales went up
Got Milk, sales went up
Nike incredible marketing. They sell shoes
But when you think of Nike, you feel something different
Empowering, inspiring, honoring great athletics
They don't talk about their product
Apple spends on advertising the same
Stay hungry and stay foolish
Take risks
Keep working and driving your ideas forward
Keep thinking and seeking inspiration
Do not give up
The Real-Life Iron Man on Success
(Written on September 22nd, 2015.)
(A compilation of notes on Elon Musk's supposed secrets to success from numerous interviews and articles.)
Get down to the fundamental truths and principles and then reason up from there
We always reason by analogy
Copying other peoples work
Take the physics approach
Counter-intuitive things discovered
Pay attention to negative feedback and solicit it from friends, family, etc.
Work hard every waking hour if you want to start a company
You will get twice as much done if you put in twice as much time?
Attract great people, great thinkers and mentors
Gather people with skills and knowledge, talent and hard work
Cohesive group determines success of the company
Focus on signal over noise, spending money on things that don't actually improve the product
Are they making this a better product or service?
Don't just follow the trends. Start simple, use physics
That way, you can see if things really are true or if they are just what everyone else is doing
NOW is the time to take a risk. Obligations increase as you get older? Now is the time to do something bold.
Be focused on something that will have a high value for someone else
Wishful thinking is a natural tendency
Difference between knowing your values and sticking to them or just pursuing a dream that is unrealistic and not based upon your ideals
Be tenacious
Work like a madman
Physics way of looking at the world
"We are doing this because it's like what others are doing and enjoying"
What are we SURE is true, then reason and plan up from there
Takes mental energy
Example:
Battery packs are expensive and they will always be
That's dumb, because if you apply that reasoning to anything new you will never get to that thing
Horses are easy, no gas, grass everywhere, we are never going to use cars
Prevents you from making true progress to constantly be thinking across and down rather than up
What is cleverer? Cheaper? Better? More enjoyable? More attractive? More inspiring?
Have a high pain threshold and patience level
Lots of optimism at the beginning before you encounter the problems and issues that are inevitable
In most cases you will not succeed
If you succeed, after a long time you will get back to happiness
Make sure your happiness is not rooted in your temporal success
Entering new market, lower standard for your product
If you are competing with others in a larger market, you MUST have the best of everything
Observe your competitors and make goals to beat them
Constantly seek criticism from others
Seek it actively from everyone you can, particularly friends
It does not mean they are right, but most of the time they can be right
Take the approach that you are wrong and that you are going to fail without them
Your goal is to be less wrong
Listen to friends, but don't succumb to the opinions of the "little man"
Successful entrepreneurs come from all different backgrounds and stories and personalities
Obsess over the product
Love what you do, no matter what the area you are into
If you don't like it, remember that life is too short
If you love it, you will be able to integrate it into your natural thinking and it won't seem as much like work
Even if you're the best of the best at everything, you need to love what you do or you can't make it work
Never give up. "I'd have to be dead or completely incapacitated."
Address false perceptions
If something is important enough, you should try even if the outcome is a failure
Watch your motivation
Interview people to be on your team
Tell me about the problems you have solved and how you did it
These people will be able to remember every level of the issue they worked with if they truly helped problem solve
(A compilation of notes on Elon Musk's supposed secrets to success from numerous interviews and articles.)
Words of Elon Musk
(PayPal, Tesla Motors, Space X, Solar City; Dreamer, inventor, entrepreneur, billionaire)Get down to the fundamental truths and principles and then reason up from there
We always reason by analogy
Copying other peoples work
Take the physics approach
Counter-intuitive things discovered
Pay attention to negative feedback and solicit it from friends, family, etc.
Work hard every waking hour if you want to start a company
You will get twice as much done if you put in twice as much time?
Attract great people, great thinkers and mentors
Gather people with skills and knowledge, talent and hard work
Cohesive group determines success of the company
Focus on signal over noise, spending money on things that don't actually improve the product
Are they making this a better product or service?
Don't just follow the trends. Start simple, use physics
That way, you can see if things really are true or if they are just what everyone else is doing
NOW is the time to take a risk. Obligations increase as you get older? Now is the time to do something bold.
Be focused on something that will have a high value for someone else
Wishful thinking is a natural tendency
Difference between knowing your values and sticking to them or just pursuing a dream that is unrealistic and not based upon your ideals
Be tenacious
Work like a madman
Physics way of looking at the world
"We are doing this because it's like what others are doing and enjoying"
What are we SURE is true, then reason and plan up from there
Takes mental energy
Example:
Battery packs are expensive and they will always be
That's dumb, because if you apply that reasoning to anything new you will never get to that thing
Horses are easy, no gas, grass everywhere, we are never going to use cars
Prevents you from making true progress to constantly be thinking across and down rather than up
What is cleverer? Cheaper? Better? More enjoyable? More attractive? More inspiring?
Have a high pain threshold and patience level
Lots of optimism at the beginning before you encounter the problems and issues that are inevitable
In most cases you will not succeed
If you succeed, after a long time you will get back to happiness
Make sure your happiness is not rooted in your temporal success
Entering new market, lower standard for your product
If you are competing with others in a larger market, you MUST have the best of everything
Observe your competitors and make goals to beat them
Constantly seek criticism from others
Seek it actively from everyone you can, particularly friends
It does not mean they are right, but most of the time they can be right
Take the approach that you are wrong and that you are going to fail without them
Your goal is to be less wrong
Listen to friends, but don't succumb to the opinions of the "little man"
Successful entrepreneurs come from all different backgrounds and stories and personalities
Obsess over the product
Love what you do, no matter what the area you are into
If you don't like it, remember that life is too short
If you love it, you will be able to integrate it into your natural thinking and it won't seem as much like work
Even if you're the best of the best at everything, you need to love what you do or you can't make it work
Never give up. "I'd have to be dead or completely incapacitated."
Address false perceptions
If something is important enough, you should try even if the outcome is a failure
Watch your motivation
Interview people to be on your team
Tell me about the problems you have solved and how you did it
These people will be able to remember every level of the issue they worked with if they truly helped problem solve
The AVO and Humanity
(Written on February 10th, 2015. Younger Olivia tryna understand the world.)
Humanity
can be corrupted and destroyed when individuals are governed by fear, lies, and
violence. In James Michener’s historical novel, The Bridge At Andau, we
view the story of Peter Szigeti, who as a youth was considered an elite
“communist in training” under the Russian rule in Hungary. He excelled in his
studies underneath the watchful eye of the system, yet he was eventually able
to realize the truth of the evils of communism.
The AVO was constantly under lock and key, check and balance. While it controlled many, other organizations checked it; this caused Szigeti to wonder why so much suspicion was necessary in maintaining the system. He finally realized that communism was not a brotherhood, but slavery kept intact by the use of fear. He said, “I looked at the life of fear we led and I concluded, ‘Life under communism has no hope, no future, no meaning. Yesterday, today and tomorrow are all lost!’”
Because the government threatened its subjects, using fear as the principle of its system, humanity could not exist. The AVO also made an extreme effort to indoctrinate and educate certain groups of young people so as to raise the next generation of dedicated communists. However, because their teachings were based on lies, these students were able to easily see the obvious inconsistencies between the lives they led and the lives they were promised. The Hungarian people were told, “You are blood brothers to the great Soviet Republic of Russia. Together we will stand against the world.” Yet because of the oppression and poverty the people were forced to live in, they knew this could not have been true.
When the rebellion broke out against the AVO, they immediately responded with violence. Inevitably, violence had to be used on both sides in order to combat each other. The people were killed through utterly inhumane means, due to the absence of morals in government on the issue of violence. Humanity could not prevail due to both sides being triggered into a state of mindless war against the other, as we see in the barbarism demonstrated by the AVO’s attacks against the Hungarian citizens. Through the insights given by Michener, it can be learned that when individuals are governed by the ingredients of fear, lies, and violence, humanity cannot exist and is ultimately eliminated.
The AVO was constantly under lock and key, check and balance. While it controlled many, other organizations checked it; this caused Szigeti to wonder why so much suspicion was necessary in maintaining the system. He finally realized that communism was not a brotherhood, but slavery kept intact by the use of fear. He said, “I looked at the life of fear we led and I concluded, ‘Life under communism has no hope, no future, no meaning. Yesterday, today and tomorrow are all lost!’”
Because the government threatened its subjects, using fear as the principle of its system, humanity could not exist. The AVO also made an extreme effort to indoctrinate and educate certain groups of young people so as to raise the next generation of dedicated communists. However, because their teachings were based on lies, these students were able to easily see the obvious inconsistencies between the lives they led and the lives they were promised. The Hungarian people were told, “You are blood brothers to the great Soviet Republic of Russia. Together we will stand against the world.” Yet because of the oppression and poverty the people were forced to live in, they knew this could not have been true.
When the rebellion broke out against the AVO, they immediately responded with violence. Inevitably, violence had to be used on both sides in order to combat each other. The people were killed through utterly inhumane means, due to the absence of morals in government on the issue of violence. Humanity could not prevail due to both sides being triggered into a state of mindless war against the other, as we see in the barbarism demonstrated by the AVO’s attacks against the Hungarian citizens. Through the insights given by Michener, it can be learned that when individuals are governed by the ingredients of fear, lies, and violence, humanity cannot exist and is ultimately eliminated.
Sift You as Wheat
(Written on August 8th, 2014. Edited November 2nd, 2016.)
"Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat."
(Luke 22:31, 3 Nephi 18:18)There are certain times in our walk with the Lord that will include sifting. We have trials, tests, and difficulties, all of which are part of God's plan for us. Though painful and tiresome, this sifting has a definite, specific purpose. We need the sifting to be purged from pride, remove the chaff from our lives, and be worthy to enter the presence of the Lord at the last day.
In order to sift out edible grain from the chaff
If you notice, Jesus identified Simon Peter and the Nephites as wheat and not
Sifting is a turbulent process of separating the pure from the impure, the useful from the useless. This process is the way both the Savior and the adversary may harvest us.
Jesus doesn’t pray for his disciples to be spared the sifting. He doesn’t reach magically into Simon’s soul and fix his problems so he wouldn’t need to go through anything hard. Christ instead prayed that their faith would be kept strong. When we respond to our sifting with confession and repentance, the result is a freeing, clean, humbled new state. However, Satan wants us in his harvest as well, and it is amid the violent process of the sifting that he can do so. We must fight to keep the faith.
Bruce R. McConkie said, "In essence and thought content Jesus is saying, ‘Peter, Satan wants you in his harvest. He wants to harvest your soul, and bring you into his granary, into his garner, where he will have you as his disciple.’ It is the same figure that we use when we say that the field is white, already to harvest. And we go out and preach the gospel and harvest the souls of men. Well, Satan wanted Peter; he wanted to sift him as wheat or to harvest his soul.”
Jesus Christ wants you in his harvest. Let Him sift you as wheat, so that you may stand spotless at the last day.
Bruce R. McConkie said, "In essence and thought content Jesus is saying, ‘Peter, Satan wants you in his harvest. He wants to harvest your soul, and bring you into his granary, into his garner, where he will have you as his disciple.’ It is the same figure that we use when we say that the field is white, already to harvest. And we go out and preach the gospel and harvest the souls of men. Well, Satan wanted Peter; he wanted to sift him as wheat or to harvest his soul.”
Jesus Christ wants you in his harvest. Let Him sift you as wheat, so that you may stand spotless at the last day.
Silent Adventures (written at age 14)
(Written on February 8th, 2013. This is baby Liv learning how to write stuff. She's not terrible.)
I think I shall forever love holding a book in my hands. The smell, the feel, and even the
sound of the paper adds to the pleasure. Yet, I believe books are much more than simply handling the pages between your fingers. When I read, I feel, know, and breathe the story! The words fill my mind and heart, and the emotions summoned up are almost magical. Books are my silent adventures; I am definitely what one would call an avid reader.
At age four, I discovered my passion for words. Even before I entered into kindergarten, I itched to know the secrets books held. I was an independent, spunky, and somewhat defiant toddler. I still possess those (somewhat unfortunate) traits to a degree today, and they have contributed to my interest in reading. At that young age, I read simply because I wanted to, and I learned to read quickly and easily. Quite often my dad and mom would find me fast asleep in the closet, surrounded by mounds of picture books. Soon the time came for me to start school. “School is so fun, Olivia! You’ll love it,” my mom would say with a smile. She’d then go on to tell me about how exciting homework was, how I could sit at a little desk in a class of friends, and how we could all read books together. I was utterly ecstatic when kindergarten finally arrived!
Starting public elementary school in the small, seaside town of El Segundo, California was a dream. I skipped to class with a smile on my five-year-old face every day. I loved my teacher, I loved bringing snacks in my lunchbox, and I loved learning! However, the school administration soon realized that I was academically advanced, and I was immediately sent to the older grades’ Reading and English classes. I didn’t find it difficult at all however; in fact, I thought it to be amusing. As the years progressed, I was continuously moved to higher levels. I have a memory of sitting in a fourth grade class during English when I was just seven years old. We were picking out the verb phrases in sentences the teacher read aloud to us. Let’s just say I was particularly good at it, and I made sure everyone else knew it. I was being as obnoxiously sweet as I could. By the end of class, all the fourth-graders moaned when I raised my hand, and glared when I got the answers right. I glared right back at them! It must have been a sign of my retaliatory nature, I suppose. I still adored those beautiful books, however. I could still be found with a fantasy and a flashlight, hiding under my sheets past ten o’clock at night!
I think I shall forever love holding a book in my hands. The smell, the feel, and even the
sound of the paper adds to the pleasure. Yet, I believe books are much more than simply handling the pages between your fingers. When I read, I feel, know, and breathe the story! The words fill my mind and heart, and the emotions summoned up are almost magical. Books are my silent adventures; I am definitely what one would call an avid reader.
At age four, I discovered my passion for words. Even before I entered into kindergarten, I itched to know the secrets books held. I was an independent, spunky, and somewhat defiant toddler. I still possess those (somewhat unfortunate) traits to a degree today, and they have contributed to my interest in reading. At that young age, I read simply because I wanted to, and I learned to read quickly and easily. Quite often my dad and mom would find me fast asleep in the closet, surrounded by mounds of picture books. Soon the time came for me to start school. “School is so fun, Olivia! You’ll love it,” my mom would say with a smile. She’d then go on to tell me about how exciting homework was, how I could sit at a little desk in a class of friends, and how we could all read books together. I was utterly ecstatic when kindergarten finally arrived!
Starting public elementary school in the small, seaside town of El Segundo, California was a dream. I skipped to class with a smile on my five-year-old face every day. I loved my teacher, I loved bringing snacks in my lunchbox, and I loved learning! However, the school administration soon realized that I was academically advanced, and I was immediately sent to the older grades’ Reading and English classes. I didn’t find it difficult at all however; in fact, I thought it to be amusing. As the years progressed, I was continuously moved to higher levels. I have a memory of sitting in a fourth grade class during English when I was just seven years old. We were picking out the verb phrases in sentences the teacher read aloud to us. Let’s just say I was particularly good at it, and I made sure everyone else knew it. I was being as obnoxiously sweet as I could. By the end of class, all the fourth-graders moaned when I raised my hand, and glared when I got the answers right. I glared right back at them! It must have been a sign of my retaliatory nature, I suppose. I still adored those beautiful books, however. I could still be found with a fantasy and a flashlight, hiding under my sheets past ten o’clock at night!
Third grade, when my family moved to Queen Creek, Arizona, was the start of a new
chapter in my story. The charter school I enrolled in was unlike any school I could have
imagined! Everyone was smart, each student was driven, and all of them were good readers. I
struggled bitterly to keep up with the rigorous homework and tests. In consequence of my late-
night reading sessions in the dark, I had to get glasses that same year. However, with a little of
my spunk and determination, I was soon able to rise to the top of my class. I found it incredibly
invigorating to find out that I had earned the highest score on the spelling test, or that my poetry
recitation was the best given. I grew to be respected among my peers, and I became known as
“the smart girl.”
Although I didn’t know it at the time, my spontaneous love for reading was waning fast! It was now all about the thrill of being the best in the class, and looking at those beautiful straight A’s on my report card at the end of each term was like gazing into the mirror at a row of orthodontically straightened teeth at the end of a 2-year treatment. They appeared genuine and natural, but they were actually manufactured and manipulated by force in order to seem that way, the perfect line. I felt like I had to achieve greatness in the eyes of the school system, so, I dedicated myself to meeting and exceeding their expectations. I read classic literature only when compelled by assigned reports, and by the time I entered junior high, my voluntary choice of books consisted of only the Harry Potter series. Throughout seventh and eighth grade, I continued to attain stellar grades in every subject, and I lived up to my reputation as “the smart girl,” but I had no confidence at all! I had slipped unawares into the mudslide of popular thought: learning is drudgery, and school is all about having a good time. My eighth grade year concluded in conflict.
That following summer, I was just treading water. I remember struggling with the decision of where I would attend high school. I had always planned to simply “jump on the conveyor belt” through the public high school system just like everybody else, yet now that this crucial decision was at my door, I felt panicked and pressured! Countless options buzzed around my head, but I could catch none. Because my imagination was smothered by this time, I did not think to read at all, especially not to find the answers to my problems. After all, reading for self- improvement is preposterous, right?
Although I didn’t know it at the time, my spontaneous love for reading was waning fast! It was now all about the thrill of being the best in the class, and looking at those beautiful straight A’s on my report card at the end of each term was like gazing into the mirror at a row of orthodontically straightened teeth at the end of a 2-year treatment. They appeared genuine and natural, but they were actually manufactured and manipulated by force in order to seem that way, the perfect line. I felt like I had to achieve greatness in the eyes of the school system, so, I dedicated myself to meeting and exceeding their expectations. I read classic literature only when compelled by assigned reports, and by the time I entered junior high, my voluntary choice of books consisted of only the Harry Potter series. Throughout seventh and eighth grade, I continued to attain stellar grades in every subject, and I lived up to my reputation as “the smart girl,” but I had no confidence at all! I had slipped unawares into the mudslide of popular thought: learning is drudgery, and school is all about having a good time. My eighth grade year concluded in conflict.
That following summer, I was just treading water. I remember struggling with the decision of where I would attend high school. I had always planned to simply “jump on the conveyor belt” through the public high school system just like everybody else, yet now that this crucial decision was at my door, I felt panicked and pressured! Countless options buzzed around my head, but I could catch none. Because my imagination was smothered by this time, I did not think to read at all, especially not to find the answers to my problems. After all, reading for self- improvement is preposterous, right?
In an effort to help, my parents booked me for a seminar geared toward youth, where a
lineup of experts were to speak about preparing the upcoming generation for leadership. I was
happy to go, but I was sure it would not be anything special. For others who were present, it
probably was more of the same academic drudgery they were used to. Yet for me, it was quite the
opposite. I listened with a sincere interest, which I had been a stranger to for a long time. The
speakers’ passion for words rekindled my own fiery desires from my childhood. “After all, words
are my passion, too,” I remembered. They spoke of our world today, and how this generation of
youth is needed to stand out, and to rise to the challenge of true scholarship! They told us to take
control of our educations, and that we can learn through the beautiful, timeless, classic works in
all subjects. Although those renowned authors have long since passed on, they can still inspire us
with their words and lessons. That day, I vowed to take my education by the horns and get the
courage to ride it out. I chose to leave the public system and chart my own academic course, with
my trusty books at my side.
Now, my palette of literature has changed for the better. As I taste of the truths of human nature from Charles Dickens and of the passions of patriotism from Abraham Lincoln, I understand the world in a different way than before! The Count of Monte Cristo, Anne Shirley of Green Gables, and Sherlock Holmes have become newfound friends. With good books on my shelves and in my heart, I am learning from history’s great thinkers to think for myself. And what is more, my desire to discover the secrets of words is renewed! I reach new places each time I pick up a book, and the beautiful words take me there. Now I read to learn. I read to escape the troubles of today. I read to understand the world around me. Once more, books truly are my silent adventures.
Now, my palette of literature has changed for the better. As I taste of the truths of human nature from Charles Dickens and of the passions of patriotism from Abraham Lincoln, I understand the world in a different way than before! The Count of Monte Cristo, Anne Shirley of Green Gables, and Sherlock Holmes have become newfound friends. With good books on my shelves and in my heart, I am learning from history’s great thinkers to think for myself. And what is more, my desire to discover the secrets of words is renewed! I reach new places each time I pick up a book, and the beautiful words take me there. Now I read to learn. I read to escape the troubles of today. I read to understand the world around me. Once more, books truly are my silent adventures.
Our Job in History
The existence of open questions about what happened in history doesn't mean nothing happened.
Sometimes we don't have a clear narrative, and that's okay.
It is up to us to find more evidence to clarify those theories in our lives.
But first, we must familiarize ourselves with and gain an understanding of current theories.
Once we have studied and understood them, we can avoid mistakes.
That's basically history and the interpretation thereof.
(Written on November 13th, 2015. I dunno what I was talking about.)
Sometimes we don't have a clear narrative, and that's okay.
It is up to us to find more evidence to clarify those theories in our lives.
But first, we must familiarize ourselves with and gain an understanding of current theories.
Once we have studied and understood them, we can avoid mistakes.
That's basically history and the interpretation thereof.
(Written on November 13th, 2015. I dunno what I was talking about.)
Shiblon
(Written on November 6th, 2014.)
I feel like Shiblon so often. All Alma's warnings and words of wisdom to Shiblon feel directly applicable to me. I want to be like Shiblon. He's one of my major Book of Mormon heroes. Here is why.
Lemme give you an intro to Shiblon. He's kinda the unsung hero of the Book of Mormon. He was the second of Alma's three sons. He didn't get a ton of play in the book. He is shown to have accompanied his father on a mission to the Zoramites where he was STONED by the people while trying to preach the word. He remained faithful. His older brother Helaman authorized him to keep the records (Alma 63:1) rather than his own son as per the custom. He had so much respect for his younger brother and was so impressed with his steadfast faith and service that he broke tradition to confer this stewardship.
Shiblon had no fanfare, even in the Latter-day Saint culture. We don't hear about Shiblon next to charismatic leaders like Moroni, Helaman, Alma, Nephi, and the like. This isn't a bad thing, but what made him particularly special is that he served without any notoriety, regardless of his present calling, and humbly walked uprightly all his days.
I have so much respect for Shiblon, and I want to live up to this tribute of him in my own life: "He was a just man, and he did walk uprightly before God; and he did observe to do good continually, to keep the commandments of the Lord his God. (Alma 63:2)"
Many Latter-day Saints know of the chapters of counsel that Alma imparts for his sons. Now get this: Helaman, the eldest, gets 77 verses of counsel across two chapters. Corianton, the youngest, gets 91 verses of counsel across four chapters.
Shiblon gets 15 verses in one chapter, Alma 38. But this is way significant.
Here's his father's (and the prophet's) words of advice for him:
1. Commenced in youth, continue keeping commandments endure to end
2. Remember if you put your trust in God you will withstand
3. Cry out unto the Lord for mercy, can only be served if you accept christ
4. Continue teaching the word diligently
5. Don't be prideful, do not boast in your own strength
6. Bridle your passions that ye may have love
7. Refrain from idleness; time and agency to do God's will
8. Acknowledge your unworthiness and shortcomings
I imagine he saw his father as a hero. He witnessed Corianton's immorality and saw how Alma taught him. I imagine he never wanted to let his father down. I feel the same way.
Anyways, thanks for reading about one of my Book of Mormon heroes. Go read his stuff. He rocks the house. Thanks, Shiblon.
I am so thankful for the Book of Mormon. I know it is true.
Ha
(Written on June 24th, 2015.)
(The following is based off a true story.)
Don't be yourself around guys.
If you be yourself around guys, you'll naturally bring up politics.
If you start talking politics, the average guy will probably go into shock.
If he miraculously recovers from this shock and continues the conversation, he will probably begin telling you his political beliefs while using the biggest words he knows (even if he knows nothing about politics).
If he starts talking politics too (and if he also knows what he is talking about), you will get excited and ask all sorts of questions.
If you ask all sorts of questions, he might get excited too.
If you both are excited, you'll naturally start talking about the upcoming election.
If you start talking about the upcoming election, you'll find he is a moderate who loosely believes in relativistic morality and secular humanism so as not to choose the wrong (nor the right).
Then he asks for your number.
But you don't wanna give your number to a wannabe secular humanist with a wannabe vocabulary.
Then you're stuck.
Don't be yourself around guys. Just talk about clothes and the weather.
(Jk, don't.)
(The following is based off a true story.)
Don't be yourself around guys.
If you be yourself around guys, you'll naturally bring up politics.
If you start talking politics, the average guy will probably go into shock.
If he miraculously recovers from this shock and continues the conversation, he will probably begin telling you his political beliefs while using the biggest words he knows (even if he knows nothing about politics).
If he starts talking politics too (and if he also knows what he is talking about), you will get excited and ask all sorts of questions.
If you ask all sorts of questions, he might get excited too.
If you both are excited, you'll naturally start talking about the upcoming election.
If you start talking about the upcoming election, you'll find he is a moderate who loosely believes in relativistic morality and secular humanism so as not to choose the wrong (nor the right).
Then he asks for your number.
But you don't wanna give your number to a wannabe secular humanist with a wannabe vocabulary.
Then you're stuck.
Don't be yourself around guys. Just talk about clothes and the weather.
(Jk, don't.)
Conifers and the Resurrection
(Written on November 19th, 2014.)
Crazy thoughts after being in Yellowstone.
The nature of the resurrection can be taught in the way nature recovers after a fire of destruction.
Some serotinous cone plants must be burned in order for seeds to be released and planted. Forest fire is essential for life. Whaaaat.
Death is part of the renewal of life.
Plants die so life can come in through the soil if not capable of a good life.
Nature does farming and reparation on its own. Commercial fertilizers are only interfering. When cultivated naturally, by nature's processes, it is fine.
Water whole thing and let bacteria spread. Protein from dead bacteria is fed on from nature. Fungus gives root nutrition and nourishment from old parts. Mycelium root relationship is symbiotic.
If you are fighting against nature, "shall surely be smitten at last."
If you continue is righteousness, death can help you. You will rise from the fire and valley of death. You will be given new life because of death.
Crazy thoughts after being in Yellowstone.
The nature of the resurrection can be taught in the way nature recovers after a fire of destruction.
Some serotinous cone plants must be burned in order for seeds to be released and planted. Forest fire is essential for life. Whaaaat.
Death is part of the renewal of life.
Plants die so life can come in through the soil if not capable of a good life.
Nature does farming and reparation on its own. Commercial fertilizers are only interfering. When cultivated naturally, by nature's processes, it is fine.
Water whole thing and let bacteria spread. Protein from dead bacteria is fed on from nature. Fungus gives root nutrition and nourishment from old parts. Mycelium root relationship is symbiotic.
If you are fighting against nature, "shall surely be smitten at last."
If you continue is righteousness, death can help you. You will rise from the fire and valley of death. You will be given new life because of death.
The Appendix: The Organ of Hope
(Written on November 19th, 2014.)
Weird title, right? I know what you're thinking. This is ridiculous. Actually, it's freaking awesome. Here are my notes. Try to make sense of them.
Appendix organ of hope
New studies released
Reseeds the gut with bacteria, stores good flora when it is healthy for times of sickness
The Appendix is a type of the Savior
Hope of resurrection analogized
Until recent research disproved, world claimed Appendix is a thing of naught, no purpose, useless organ, expendable
Appendix was thought removable, but purpose was not known
Christ is our hope, though disparaged by the world
How cool is this
Weird title, right? I know what you're thinking. This is ridiculous. Actually, it's freaking awesome. Here are my notes. Try to make sense of them.
Appendix organ of hope
New studies released
Reseeds the gut with bacteria, stores good flora when it is healthy for times of sickness
The Appendix is a type of the Savior
Hope of resurrection analogized
Until recent research disproved, world claimed Appendix is a thing of naught, no purpose, useless organ, expendable
Appendix was thought removable, but purpose was not known
Christ is our hope, though disparaged by the world
How cool is this
Wildflowers
(Written on November 5th, 2015.)
I love wildflowers.
I like them more perhaps than any other flower.
I see exquisite beauty in all flowers, don't get me wrong. Yet when I see a wild flower, no matter the species or color or size it may be, the beauty seems more fiery and free.
My wedding flowers are gonna be wildflowers.
These are my flowers.
That's all.
A Cool U2 Song
(Written on December 12th, 2015.)
I do believe I've caught the bug of analyzing deep song lyrics from my dad. He recommended this song. I recommend it too. Check out that third stanza. Plus it's just a rad song for jammin'. I love y'all.
Pride (In the Name of Love)
I do believe I've caught the bug of analyzing deep song lyrics from my dad. He recommended this song. I recommend it too. Check out that third stanza. Plus it's just a rad song for jammin'. I love y'all.
Pride (In the Name of Love)
One man come in the name of love
One man come and go
One man come he to justify
One man to overthrow
One man come and go
One man come he to justify
One man to overthrow
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
One man caught on a barbed wire fence
One man he resist
One man washed up on an empty beach
One man betrayed with a kiss
One man he resist
One man washed up on an empty beach
One man betrayed with a kiss
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
Early morning, April four
Shot rings out in the Memphis sky
Free at last, they took your life
They could not take your pride
Shot rings out in the Memphis sky
Free at last, they took your life
They could not take your pride
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
The Spirit is Willing, but the Flesh is Weak
(Written on November 7th, 2014.)
Random thoughts on the gospel, ready set go: Oftentimes I lament and disparage myself over the fact that my Spirit is willing but my flesh is so weak.
But I rejoice in the knowledge that my Savior is aware of this. He knows me. The Lord is aware of me.
Why did the Savior go back to Peter, James, and John three times while in the Garden of Gethsemane? Why did he keep waking them? He knew the Spirit was willing, but the flesh was weak.
He knows us and loves us, so he gives us second and third and fourth and fifth chances. He keeps inviting us to COME. We get limitless chances at eternity if we apply the Atonement, because the Atonement overcame death, the flesh. I'd be toast without Jesus.
References for further study:
Luke 22
Random thoughts on the gospel, ready set go: Oftentimes I lament and disparage myself over the fact that my Spirit is willing but my flesh is so weak.
But I rejoice in the knowledge that my Savior is aware of this. He knows me. The Lord is aware of me.
Why did the Savior go back to Peter, James, and John three times while in the Garden of Gethsemane? Why did he keep waking them? He knew the Spirit was willing, but the flesh was weak.
He knows us and loves us, so he gives us second and third and fourth and fifth chances. He keeps inviting us to COME. We get limitless chances at eternity if we apply the Atonement, because the Atonement overcame death, the flesh. I'd be toast without Jesus.
References for further study:
Luke 22
Matthew 26
Mark 14
2 Nephi 4
True Marveling is Gratitude + A Meditation Experiment
(Written on September 22nd, 2015.)
"O Lord My God, When I in Awesome Wonder, ... Then Sings My Soul!"
"And when I think that God His Son not sparing sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in..."
"I Stand All Amazed at the Love Jesus offers me..."
"I marvel that He would descend from His throne divine to rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine..."
"Oh It is wonderful that He should care for me enough to die for me"
Guys. We forget to be grateful. All the time. We live in a time of a marvelous work and a wonder. Never before have there been so many missionaries and temples. The fulness of the gospel is readily accessible anywhere.
Having the knowledge I have today, in my moments of the "natural woman" in thought, I tend to think I would be greater if I lived in another time or circumstance.
I did this meditation experiment at Elevation this summer. While focusing on breathing, I wanted to experiment with gratitude. I think this idea may have been prompted by one of my mentors, maybe Angie Baker or Lucas Reynolds. Anyhow, I focused on breathing in gratitude and light, and breathing out darkness and impurities. This type of meditation was about considering the wonderful, the bright, the beautiful, the amazing, the marvelous. This was more clarifying and rejuvenating that any previous meditation I have done.
This type of exercise in concentrated gratitude could be applied everywhere.
This type of exercise in concentrated gratitude could be applied everywhere.
To marvel is a sign of faith. I think that this amazement produces spiritual strength. To stand all amazed at what Jesus Christ has offered you, to be confused at His grace, to marvel at His sacrifice. This is missing in our daily life and even in our worship places. This is important.
All true marveling is anchored in the Atonement. I am capable of obtaining the strength and clarity that comes through grateful marveling and wondering in every part of my life with the companionship of the Holy Ghost. How wonderful that is.
A Converted Peter
(Written on November 5th, 2014.)
It is fascinating to me to consider the character of converted Apostle Peter vs. the old Apostle Peter. There came a point after his walk with the Savior where he truly turned to the light and was truly changed. Though he was worthy of apostleship and literally walked with the Lord on earth, he demonstrated true conversion in his dealings with his fellows only after the Savior had left. To me, his story is incredibly powerful and personal.
Qualities gained as a result of conversion:
Boldness
Devotion
Persistence
Gospel in heart
Fear of man washed away
Reverence
Plainness of speech
No more disposition to do evil
How can I become consistently converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ?
Egoism Debunked
"Now one of the strongest and wisest statements I have ever heard on the subject of egoism. The question was put to him, 'Joseph, is the principle of self-aggrandizement wrong? Should we seek our own good?' Listen to his answer. 'It is a correct principle and may be indulged upon only one rule or plan--and that is to elevate, benefit, and bless others first. If you will elevate others, the very work itself will exalt you. Upon no other plan can a man justly and permanently aggrandize himself."
Joseph Smith as quoted by Truman Madsen
Joseph Smith as quoted by Truman Madsen
God Loved Us So He Sent His Son
"God loved us so He sent His Son
In word and deed He doth require my will to His
Like son to sire, be made to bend
And I, as Son, learn conduct from the holy one."
Like son to sire, be made to bend
And I, as Son, learn conduct from the holy one."
Don't Be Lukewarm
Progress tends to unearth new problems, thoughts, and doubts. Of course it does. This is within the nature of moving into new territories, accomplishing new feats, expanding your comfort zone. Be aware of these new doubts.
However, know that these are tactics that the adversary uses when he sees we are making progress. He will do all he can to stop us from progressing, to have us become lukewarm in our beliefs, confidence, and effort.
Don't ever cool down, my brethren. Keep the gospel flame burning. Keep your testimony. Keep progressing. Keep the faith.
However, know that these are tactics that the adversary uses when he sees we are making progress. He will do all he can to stop us from progressing, to have us become lukewarm in our beliefs, confidence, and effort.
Don't ever cool down, my brethren. Keep the gospel flame burning. Keep your testimony. Keep progressing. Keep the faith.
Humility Makes Us Whole
Ether 12:27
Go read that scripture. Don't rattle it off. Delve into the meaning here. It's pretty stellar.
If men come unto Him, He covenants that He will show into them their weakness. We need to know our weaknesses in order to become whole. This is how we become perfect. The Hebrew translation of perfect means whole, complete, having full integrity. We must be humble in our weaknesses and in others weaknesses. Fulfilling our stewardship is crucial to this perfection process.
Just some little thoughts.
If men come unto Him, He covenants that He will show into them their weakness. We need to know our weaknesses in order to become whole. This is how we become perfect. The Hebrew translation of perfect means whole, complete, having full integrity. We must be humble in our weaknesses and in others weaknesses. Fulfilling our stewardship is crucial to this perfection process.
Just some little thoughts.
(Written on September 22nd, 2015.)
Calling All Dreamers
I have a challenge for you.
List 100 dreams.
I just did it.
It was awesome.
Go do the good work.
Follow your dreams. Really. Don't live a stagnant life.
That's all.
Inquire within if you wanna hear my list of dreams.
Peace out.
(Written on October 20th, 2015.)
List 100 dreams.
I just did it.
It was awesome.
Go do the good work.
Follow your dreams. Really. Don't live a stagnant life.
That's all.
Inquire within if you wanna hear my list of dreams.
Peace out.
(Written on October 20th, 2015.)
Answers
(Written on November 11th, 2015.)
God can withhold answers for a time in order to allow us to apply the truths He has already provided us. He does this with me a lot.
I just learned that what I may feel prompted to do is not always the long-term answer.
Elder Bednar gave a brilliant series of talks on "Patterns of Light" where he explains different ways revelation is received. I often feel like my revelation is coming as light in a fog. There is just enough light to take a step forward. I don't want to be afraid to take those steps. The world may say that it isn't safe to move forward, but this is how revelation works.
Now, we see through a glass darkly. That's okay. That's the whole point of faith. That's the point of the Savior's light, which shineth in this darkness. Never tire in discovering the gospel, for all things shall be revealed in His time.
God can withhold answers for a time in order to allow us to apply the truths He has already provided us. He does this with me a lot.
I just learned that what I may feel prompted to do is not always the long-term answer.
Elder Bednar gave a brilliant series of talks on "Patterns of Light" where he explains different ways revelation is received. I often feel like my revelation is coming as light in a fog. There is just enough light to take a step forward. I don't want to be afraid to take those steps. The world may say that it isn't safe to move forward, but this is how revelation works.
Now, we see through a glass darkly. That's okay. That's the whole point of faith. That's the point of the Savior's light, which shineth in this darkness. Never tire in discovering the gospel, for all things shall be revealed in His time.
I just heard this in church today:
When He answers YES, it is to give us confidence. When He answers NO, it is to protect us and keep us on track. When He gives no distinct answer, it is to help us grow.
Thank you, God, for helping me grow.
When He answers YES, it is to give us confidence. When He answers NO, it is to protect us and keep us on track. When He gives no distinct answer, it is to help us grow.
Thank you, God, for helping me grow.
My Fascination With The Brain
I didn't actually have anything to say about this. I just want you all to know that the brain is freaking awesome and I am fascinated by it daily and y'all should learn more about it. Holy wow.
Love and Trust
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart;
And lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him,
And he shall direct thy paths.
(Proverbs 3:5-6)
I feel my Savior's love
And know that he will bless me.
I offer him my heart;
My shepherd he will be.
He knows I will follow him,
Give all my life to him.
I feel my Savior's love,
The love he freely gives me.
("I Feel My Savior's Love," Children's Songbook)
Foster Care Taught Me About Love
(Written on January 5th, 2016.)
This entire post is hard to write, but I want to get my thoughts down while they are fresh.
I came across this gem of a scripture in my study today. It perfectly and completely outlines what I have felt and learned and struggled with throughout my experiences as a foster sibling.
1 John 4:7-21
I hate bracing myself for loss. The sadness isn't supposed to be here yet, so there is no reason why I should sabotage current happy thoughts. However, getting my hopes up every single time has only resulted in an even bigger crash when the loss hits.
Why would my family keep putting ourselves through this? Especially after we were so heartbroken from the twins, I did not know how we could keep subjecting ourselves to this pain.
The system is already broken. The government has proven that they cannot parent, and yet they still have decided to undertake the responsibility for raising hundreds of thousands of troubled children in America. I have ideas for system reform, and I could rant about the system all day. However, I am in no position of power (Good thing, too. I'm probably too emotionally charged and angry about this to make any reasonable stance. I'll save that for the future. I will do something about these children someday, though. I will do it. More on that later.)
For now, I am a sister and a daughter. The answer to the question of why is Love. I learned it is okay for pain and love to exist simultaneously. Love is not without sacrifice or hurt. You can love your enemies without fear or anger. You can find peace in pain. God, who is ultimately Love embodied, sent me to this family, sent these children to us, and taught me the importance of eternal love. For that I thank Him daily.
Pictured:
Harley is the blue-eyed ginger boy with the massive adorable head. Jayla is the two-year old in all dresses with the big brown eyes and the fabulous fro. Tino is the handsomest baby ever with his big lips, olive skin, and dark hair and eyebrows. Sweet little Nattie is the gorgeous baby girl with dark red hair, olive skin, and a little face that reminds me of a bunny rabbit. She is so precious. I have included a picture of a baby bunny for reference.
This entire post is hard to write, but I want to get my thoughts down while they are fresh.
I came across this gem of a scripture in my study today. It perfectly and completely outlines what I have felt and learned and struggled with throughout my experiences as a foster sibling.
1 John 4:7-21
7 Beloved, let us a love one another: for b love is of God; and every one that loveth is c born of God, and knoweth God.
9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might a live through him.
10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he a loved us, and b sent his Son to be the c propitiation for our sins.
11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.
12 a No man hath b seen God at any time. If we love one another, c God d dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.
16 And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that a dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.
17 Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he a is, so are we in this world.
18 There is no a fear in b love; but perfect c love casteth out fear: because fear hath d torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
20 If a man say, I love God, and a hateth his b brother, he is a c liar: for he that loveth not his d brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not e seen?
Yesterday my foster sister Jayla left. Six months ago my precious twin foster siblings Nattie and Tino were taken away from us as well. About a year and a half ago, Rebecca left. Sweet Harley is still with us, but based on the recent court meetings and certain rumors going around, the outcome will most likely not be in our favor.I hate bracing myself for loss. The sadness isn't supposed to be here yet, so there is no reason why I should sabotage current happy thoughts. However, getting my hopes up every single time has only resulted in an even bigger crash when the loss hits.
Why would my family keep putting ourselves through this? Especially after we were so heartbroken from the twins, I did not know how we could keep subjecting ourselves to this pain.
The system is already broken. The government has proven that they cannot parent, and yet they still have decided to undertake the responsibility for raising hundreds of thousands of troubled children in America. I have ideas for system reform, and I could rant about the system all day. However, I am in no position of power (Good thing, too. I'm probably too emotionally charged and angry about this to make any reasonable stance. I'll save that for the future. I will do something about these children someday, though. I will do it. More on that later.)
For now, I am a sister and a daughter. The answer to the question of why is Love. I learned it is okay for pain and love to exist simultaneously. Love is not without sacrifice or hurt. You can love your enemies without fear or anger. You can find peace in pain. God, who is ultimately Love embodied, sent me to this family, sent these children to us, and taught me the importance of eternal love. For that I thank Him daily.
Pictured:
Harley is the blue-eyed ginger boy with the massive adorable head. Jayla is the two-year old in all dresses with the big brown eyes and the fabulous fro. Tino is the handsomest baby ever with his big lips, olive skin, and dark hair and eyebrows. Sweet little Nattie is the gorgeous baby girl with dark red hair, olive skin, and a little face that reminds me of a bunny rabbit. She is so precious. I have included a picture of a baby bunny for reference.
I really love you all.
Sincerely,
Liv
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