As I've recently crossed the "mighty threshold of legal adulthood" in turning 18 years old, I feel as though I've taken a bow and a curtain has been closed upon my childhood years. They are over, and that is alright. Action has already been called on the next act. However, I cannot help but find myself pondering the purpose of my childhood and whether or not I personally fulfilled it.
I think about the stresses I experienced (and caused, no doubt) as a tense, colicky infant. In my first minutes in this world, my mother said that to the shock of all those present, I was completely calm at my moment of birth. I did not cry, and I immediately opened my eyes to look around. Yet for reasons I know not, this encouraging bout of peace was short-lived for my parents and I. As I growing baby I was unconsolable when upset, and I kept my muscles so taut and strained at all times. My parents nicknamed me "stiffy," for I refused to cuddle or calm down. My mother recalls trying to make me laugh, yet rather than laughing I would clench and struggle to the point of hiccups. I strained to hold my head up and sit up before I was supposed to. I walked and talked far sooner than the average toddler. I learned to read a year prior to even entering kindergarten.
In elementary school, I excelled (unconsciously, mind you) and was sent to accelerated learning classes. I spent class periods in higher grades for reading and math. All I knew is that my teacher made me leave in the middle of class to go read with another teacher's class. I loved to correct the older kids in their reading mistakes. I didn't know what I was missing or what I was gaining. I could care less about homework.
It is only now that I have these new eyes. Was it not the intention of all my parents' teachings that I learn and apply these things? Am I a letdown to my parents? I was stubborn and hot-headed half my life and moody and disconnected the other half. Now, when I finally understand the meaning of honoring my parents, the importance of the law of obedience, the beauty of nurtured family relationships, and the divine, incredible role of the Savior's Atonement in my life, I am leaving. I am off to college this month. I no longer get to grow up alongside my siblings under my parents' roof.
The purpose of childhood, then, must be for the creation of a foundation in Jesus Christ and a love of learning I feel as though I've hardly built anything, but I've at least done this. I have been imparted with the fuel I need for success throughout the rest of my life. This is just it.
(Written on August 6th, 2016.)
